What is a NICU Doula?

Our new program for families who find themselves in the NICU and wonder how to juggle it all. When they can’t meet all the needs and also see their newborns 24/7 because they are discharged and have to go home without their baby (or twins/triplets). When they are struggling to pump around the clock, eat enough, sleep, shower, and care for their home and pets, all the while they are trying to spend every waking minute in the hospital with their babies. It’s an impossible task, but one where a little bit of support can go a long way.

Image of a sweet mom I was able to support in my early days as a doula and IBCLC. This is Melissa, a dedicated mom and one of my previous supervisors, who gave birth at 34 weeks and invited me to support her with her breastfeeding journey.

Why a NICU Doula?

One of my very first doula clients was a family with triplets who came home at 36 weeks gestation at about 4 lbs each. My role was as an overnight doula to help these tiny babies feed effectively and help the parents get some rest after their NICU stay. They also preferred not to use the apnea & heart monitors that were offered, as they wanted to monitor the babies themselves over using leads and machines to track their breathing. This meant that the doula had to be the breathing monitor when the parents were resting, and we needed to be present at all times other than a couple minutes for bathroom breaks.

Beginning my role as a doula in this way taught me several things; first, I could do this! I was able to get a routine down that paid close attention to each tiny human individually, and assured the parents that they could rest trusting I was watching closely. Second, it secured my love for itty bitties (which I always enjoyed, even though I only seem to make giant babies myself) and it grew my understanding of what having premature babies looked and felt like. This grew my compassion to support families who started their parenting journey with tubes, wires, and a lot of staff to navigate vs. having their babies skin to skin rooming in 24/7 like I had learned about in doula training.

Fast forward 25 years full of working with thousands of families and hundreds of hours of ongoing education, now I can add NICU Doula to my training list. I just completed 10 weeks of NICU Doula training from The NICU Translator. It was a 30 hour commitment to learn all about the NICU; not just prematurity but all the reasons babies might need to have an intensive hospital stay and how to best support parents going through this often stressful experience. This program deepened my understanding of how to best care for families and it birthed a new service for ABC Doula: NICU Doula Support!

What do our NIcU doulas offer?

First, the practical; a home reset for those who are away for hours every day. A doula to attend to a few things you need that you don’t want to have to ask for like your dishwasher emptied and your pump parts washed and awaiting your next session. Your bed made and turned down so you can come home to a cozy bed ready for rest. A warm meal waiting in a slow cooker so you don’t have to think about feeding yourself but still can have some nourishing food to help you heal from birth and the stress of leaving your baby behind every day.

All this provided by a doula who knows what new parents need and doesn’t need direction on how to help. Care given by a doula who is able to bring comfort to a challenging time, to fill in the gaps when parents run out of fuel, during a time they could be snuggling their newborn at home but instead they have to rush back and forth each day. A doula who knows how to answer questions gently, help parents advocate for their babies, and empower parents in their own instincts as they get to know their baby.

The baby just got discharged, now what?

The homecoming process changes the game, and the care only picks up from there. When a baby has had a home in the NICU, switching to the home environment can be a big shock, and we have heard for years how hard those first days and nights are after discharge. The NICU Doula support will be there the first day or night to cushion the homecoming, setting up a soft landing for parents as they introduce baby to their home, pets or siblings. Doulas can provide the background support in the early days that parents miss when not surrounded by helpful caregivers like they had in the NICU. It can help them feel less alone, less scared, and significantly more relaxed. These shifts are longer and can include both days and nights, depending on what each family needs.

The idea is to create a setting that restores parents while they are away from their baby, welcomes baby in with a peaceful transition after discharge, and nurtures the new family once they are all home together, having to make all the decisions, keep all the appointments, and still manage everyone’s needs—all the while having a comforting presence totally focused on their needs.

Check out the offering on our service page for more details.