Supporting Feeding Choices
Teaching grandparents challenges me frequently, especially when they ask really earnest questions. Like what happens when they want their kids to breastfeed their babies and they end up formula feeding? Or what if they decide to bottle feed and pump their milk instead of just feeding them directly from the breast? Or if they were formula feeders, why go to all the effort to work through breastfeeding challenges? It doesn't make sense to them.
And I get it. Especially with the first grandbaby, it can feel like the decision reflects on your choices, and can feel like judgement. But honestly, it isn't at all about what grandparents did--it all hinges on the experience parents are having!
Breastfeeding rates are HIGH right now (83% across the US) but so are the options that parents have if it doesn't work as they intend. Pumps are provided to every family with insurance. Feeding is now a shared activity between parents, even when mom is breastfeeding. Many things have changed!
This is what I think Grandparents can do to best support their kids feeding choices.
The best thing is to trust that the parents are doing what they think is the absolute best for their kids!
No parent wants to shortchange their child, so if they are choosing a feeding option that the grandparents don’t approve of, find a way to believe that this is the BEST choice for their grandchild in this circumstance. It is not a decision made lightly. It is not a decision made without thought, research, and diligence to provide their baby the very best.
Feeding an infant is a lot of work, and there are so many factors that go into making it successful.
There is even a whole new category of medical care in lactation that never existed before (Lactation consultants were only board certified in 1985) so there is so much more known about feeding complications, and there are many experts chiming into the science of lactation and infant development.
The best grandparents can do is accept the parents choices and support them by reassuring the parents that they trust them, and they know how much they are doing for the baby.