We have to do more!
This year I will have been training doulas for 20 years. I am in my 23rd year of caring for postpartum families professionally. I have taught thousands of couples how to prepare for parenthood, soothe and comfort their baby, how to work as a team, and how to help organize the support around them. I have trained hundreds of doulas, educators, and others who work with families. But it isn’t enough.
Most families (95%, 98%?, 99%?) in the US don’t have doula support after the birth of their baby. While they might have family support, their families might live far away, their parents might work full time, illness or injury might prevent their relatives from caring for them—and others also might not be invited. Why wouldn’t people want their family to care for them? In part because we have lost the postpartum traditions that we once had, bringing families together to not just celebrate baby’s arrival, but to SERVE AND NURTURE new parents while they learn how to master this demanding newborn life.
While I have taught expectant parents to prepare and how to organize their parents and loved ones to help, I have always been teaching from the perspective of the family caring for the newborn. I realize now I left out a vital part of that equation, one that truly has the power to change postpartum recovery on a much grander scale.
I left out teaching the GRANDPARENTS.
Now that I am almost an empty-nester, I am the average age of a first time grandparent! My friends and colleagues are welcoming their first grand-babies (and are they in LOVE!!!). While my kids are not planning on making me a grandma anytime soon (you were wondering right?) I am making space for those future grandparents by cultivating a class that will help them be as prepared as a doula so they can serve and nurture too. Because when grandparents combine their extensive experience in raising kiddos with their intense love of their future grand-babies, and add some modern newborn and postpartum care updates, they can be the support that families only dream about. This support can be even more powerful than doulas, although doulas are a good option in the absence of loved ones. (While doulas have some advantages—like not bringing their own baggage to your world, and by being postpartum experts—the depth of love experienced with family care is unparalleled, especially when there is a bit of training ahead of time.) I won’t stop training doulas. But it is time to make even greater change and reach more families (that doulas don’t currently support).
So we are starting on a new mission! To train grandparents (or other loved ones) to be the support that new families have dreamed about. To show them all the new baby tricks I share in class, including all the updates that have happened in the past 20-40 years or so since it has often been awhile since they have cared for a newborn. To help them understand postpartum recovery to help aid healing, support breastfeeding or pumping, and fight the mental health crisis that is growing WAY too fast.
We have begun a new vision we are calling New Mama’s Mama. In the tradition of Mothering the Mother, the original doula mantra, we are expanding this mission to care for the parents, by the parents of those grown adults. We are going to do this in a myriad of different ways, but we are starting here: www.newmamasmama.com and on IG and FB at @newmamasmama. Come join us and send the pre-grandparents in your life our way! We are excited about meeting these world changers (that are now my peers)!
Our first class is building a waiting list and will start in February! You can find more here: https://www.abcdoula.com/parent-courses.
If you have input about how to take on this new challenge and mission, please reach out to me on the socials or kimberly@abcdoula.com. It’s a big vision, but I am up for it.
